


someone (has to get off)

by hyuckmania



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Heartbreak, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-20 13:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16137815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckmania/pseuds/hyuckmania
Summary: When Mark phones his ex and asks him to pretend to be his boyfriend, Donghyuck should have said no. Too bad he has never been able to say no to Mark.





	1. I'm tied to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> work title is from seesaw by suga (bts)  
> chapter title is from i wait by day6  
> not beta'ed so feel free to point any mistakes!  
> like always, enjoy :-)

“Let me move my bang to see if I read that right.” Donghyuck says. 

His ex sighs on the other end of the line. Donghyuck has his afternoon pretty much planned: finishing his vocal classes, going straight home, take a nap between his plushies and maybe get some ice cream for dinner. What he’s _not_ expecting is his ex-boyfriend calling him, after four months of not hearing from him. Donghyuck might move getting the ice cream to his priorities. 

“Donghyuck, we’re talking, you cannot read.” Mark supplies. 

“Well, sucks to suck, Minhyung. This is my coping mechanism, you should know by now.” He doesn’t mean to sound rude, but after saying it he knows, _for sure_ , and Mark knows, he’s still bitter about their broke up. It’s not like, they both finished things badly, I mean, it could be _worse_. There was no cheating, no screaming, no tears. They just, at some point in their three year relationship, realized that maybe love isn’t enough. 

“It’s just two days, please, Donghyuck. Do me this one favor and then we’re done.” Mark tries again, his voice softening to a whisper, like this way Donghyuck could say yes. 

_As if_ , Donghyuck thinks. 

“We broke up for a reason, Minhyung. It’s been months, what do you want from me?” Donghyuck asks, but he actually doesn’t want an answer, or _maybe_ , he’s scared Mark would give him the answer he _wants_. 

“My parents are coming for holidays, right?” Mark takes a moment and breaths in, trying to compose himself for what’s he’s about to say. On the other line, Donghyuck takes those seconds like the calm before the storm, knowing the way Mark voices sounds edgy. “And I didn’t told them… about us.” 

Donghyuck stops in his tracks, a few steps away from the bus stop. “Us? As in we broke up, as in we’re _not_ together in any ways?” Mark is silent on the other line, so Donghyuck supposes is truth. He can’t stop a laugh of disbelief escaping his lips. “You sure haven’t changed a little bit.” 

“What’s- Listen, I don’t want to fight, but I really need this last one favor, Donghyuck.” Mark breaths shakily and Donghyuck’s heart can’t help to clench at the thought of hurting _again_ Mark with his words. “I didn’t know they’ll come! I assumed I was the one going. But mom called and she was all about how much she missed you and how you two would catch crabs in the beach like the last time, and I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t- I don’t know how to break the bubble she’s in.” 

Donghyuck hates the grin that’s on the tip of his lips. He doesn’t want to say he missed Mark, but what else was he supposed to say? He missed his rambling talks, mostly because he got all worked up about little things and started getting stressed over it. Donghyuck’s grin disappears as he feels wistful about their whole situation. When did things started to get so complicated? Why were there so many words unspoken between the two of them? 

There was a giant elephant crashing in their room that they both decided to ignore until it destroyed the house. 

“Whatever.” He hates overthinking about something and he knows, he knows for sure, if he says no to him now, he would dance around the millions of _what if_ this situation could outcome. 

“Really?” Mark beams, his voice sounding like the Mark he used to be, before everything went to the trash. 

“Your parents deserve better than being ditched.” He says lightly, pausing before saying something else. In the past, Donghyuck used to keep everything for him, and in the end it was too much, too many feelings that he didn’t know how to handle. He takes this opportunity to be brutally honest with Mark, because he supposes he has _nothing_ else to lose. “ _Everyone_ , actually.” 

* 

The phone calls ends and they decide to meet up in the cafe they used to visit that’s crossing the city, the next day. Mostly because Donghyuck doesn’t want to be seen by his friends and he wants to be in an environment where he knows the place. 

What he didn’t thought through was that they’ll recognize them in the cafe. So it’s not a surprise, the way they’re taken back when the cashier greets them with a smile brightly as the sun. 

“My OTP!” She waves them, before typing in the computer. “The usual, right?” Donghyuck and Mark nod astonished at the naturally of her actions, like it’s not obvious the awkward and forced demeanor that’s hanging around the both of them. “It’s been a while, guys, thought you two broke up or something.” 

Donghyuck knows she doesn’t mean harm, but _still_ , still it hurts. Just because they finished things, Donghyuck stopped himself from enjoying places and people he used to hang out. It’s not fair and fuck all the drinks he had this four months to convince himself he was over Mark, because he sure as hell wasn’t. It was crystal clear, just looking at the way his heart started running in his chest as soon his eyes stopped in Mark. 

He prayed to every god that Mark would get ugly, that he would get bags in the eyes from the many nights he wouldn’t sleep because of _him_. That maybe he gained weight or that he lost that sparkle in his eyes. But no. 

_No_. No one of it happened. If even, he looked more deadly handsome than ever. 

Fucking Gold Lee Mark and fuck his perfect face features with that pale skin of him that made him look so handsome. He even dyed his hair blonde! Dear god, Donghyuck needed more than a miracle to finish these two days in one piece. 

In the end, Mark’s the one to break the silence. “It’s been that long?” He nudges at Donghyuck, snapping him back to the reality. He exchanges looks with Mark and the waiter, a girl named Chaeyoung. 

He gives her a shit-eating grin, before taking Mark waist with one arm. “We were, you know…” He takes his face close to Mark, sniffing his neck, making all the bleed of Mark run to his cheeks. Donghyuck prefers this feeling: the one that allows him to make people around him nervous, even awkward. His intimidating gaze and the fact he didn’t mind personal space always disarmed people. 

It especially worked with Mark. 

Mark clears his throat and smacks Donghyuck’s hands away. “We’ll be in our regular.” With that, he takes the lead and leaves Donghyuck in his spot. He shrugs internally before winking at Chaeyoung. 

Mark is at their regular table, _or well_ , the table they used to sit when they were together. The one at the corner of the room, facing the window. Mark liked this one, because the low light made everything more personal and it was warmer here than anywhere in the café. He sits in front of him, his smile still present, making Mark even more nervous. 

“Were you always such a brat?” Spats Mark, playing with his hands, not even to dare a look at Donghyuck’s direction. 

If Donghyuck takes away the fact they are here because Mark’s parents don’t know they broke up, this almost feels like the past four months never happened and they were just Mark and Donghyuck, but _together_. Donghyuck’s antics are making the atmosphere more bearable and he knows Mark, he _knows_ but he doesn’t want to say it, but he’s thankful. Either way, meeting your ex is never a good experience. 

“May I remind you need me?” Donghyuck teases and this time Mark meets his gaze, and Donghyuck’s such a sucker for those pretty eyes that are looking at him in a way he hasn’t seen in four months. Mark’s eyes are almost looking at him with some affection, the way they used to look when Donghyuck did something remotely mischief. 

“You don’t,” Mark clears his throat, snapping the both of them from the past. “I’m sorry.” 

Donghyuck’s taken back at the way those words slip from Mark’s mouth, because they roll so _easy_ and he can’t stop to wonder why didn’t he said them before, that day, why he couldn’t say them? 

“Whatever,” Donghyuck moves in his seat, his arms across his chest. “How are we doing this?” 

Mark sighs, his gaze looking over Donghyucks shoulder. 

“One Americano without sugar and one Frappuccino.” Chaeyong sings softly, placing the orders in the table, sneaking a look in Donghyuck’s direction and giving him a shy smile before leaving. 

Now Mark’s the one crossing his arms, arching a brow in Chaeyoungs direction. “Really? Hitting on the cashier?” 

Donghyuck takes his Americano, his eyes squeezing shut at Mark. He takes a sip before answering. “No worries, _boyfriend_. I have only eyes for you.” He recites robotically, offering a smile. 

Mark rolls his eyes, taking a sip from his Frappuccino angrily. “You’re impossible. Are you going to help or not?” 

Donghyuck clicks his tongues, his elbows resting in the table so he can come closer to face Mark. “Well, dipshit, maybe try asking yourself that. Do you want my help or not?” 

Mark grits his teeth and Donghyuck almost expects him to retract this absurd idea. “Yes. I do need your help.” 

“What’s the magic word?” 

Mark lets out a silent curse. “Ple- Please.” 

Donghyuck grins. “Please what, Mark?” 

Again, Mark mumbles under his breath something along the lines “if I could punch”. “Please be my fake boyfriend for the next weekend.” 

Donghyuck nods and straightens in his seat. He offers a hand. “Deal.” 

Mark squeezes it softly, his eyes not meeting Donghyuck’s. “Deal.” 

* 

“You know, for all the years I’ve known you, this has to be the worst idea you ever had.” Chenle says. 

Donghyuck glares at him from the other side of the table, poking at his salad. His appetite gone by the time he told Chenle why Mark called. 

In retrospective, Chenle was right. Still, he hates the way he’s looking at him with pity and sadness. The way he has looked at Donghyuck for the past six months, like he knows he’s suffering and if he could, he would take it all away, but. 

But Donghyuck…. He has to fights some battles alone. 

“You’re being mean,” he whines, stepping out from the living room to his room. 

Chenle follows him a little later, taking a sit in the edge of his bed. He takes Donghyuck’s hand between his. “I don’t want you to get hurt.” He pauses. “Again.” 

Donghyuck grabs a pillow and presses it to his face. “You know I can’t say no to him, Chenle.” He mumbles, daring to peak a look at Chenle’s face. 

He stays still with _that_ knowing look. “Do you want to get back together with him?” 

“It doesn’t matter now.” _It never mattered_. 

Chenle takes a breath and sighs. “This is going to end bad and I can’t even fight the guy, ‘cause he’s cute. But still.” 

“You’re gonna beat his ass?” Donghyuck grins. 

“I’ll try.” 

Donghyuck half laughs. “Yeah, I’ll like to see you try, cotton.” 

Chenle smiles, but his lips tremble before he says. “He hurt you, Hyuck. Heavy and badly.” He starts, now taking the place next to Donghyuck in the bed. At the contact, Donghyuck presses closer, wrapping his arms around Chenle’s waist, tangling their legs together. 

And yes, Mark hurt him just like he loved him. Donghyuck can’t even blame him for that, because that’s the whole thing about love, you show them how to hurt you. When you open your heart and pour your feelings in a relationship, that’s always the risk. 

“I can’t bear see you in that state again.” Chenle whispers and he just sounds so sad, that Donghyuck hugs him, not knowing how to reply to that. 

When you love someone, you want to cry for them, you want to hurt yourself instead of them. 

Donghyuck knows that too well. 

* 

The weekend comes faster than Donghyuck wanted and between his classes and work, he tries his best to not think too much about Mark and this stupid idea. Which is exactly why when Mark calls him to be ready in thirty minutes at his dorm, he hasn’t even packed. 

He tries to get ready in the span of time, but knowing Mark, he would be late. 

**do not fucking reply [9:31]**

i’m here 

**you [9:32]**

tsk tsk 

always late, uh? 

Now in the car, the atmosphere is tense and Donghyuck wants to say something, anything to break the ice. “So, what have you been up to?” 

Mark sneaks a look at his side, his eyebrows frowning. “What?” 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Besides you being a prick, I don’t know what else you’ve been doing. For the sake of this façade, we should at least know what has the other been doing, don’t you think?” 

Mark ignores the insult and replies him. “Well, I’m working with this new label. They’ll debut a new group and I worked in their album.” 

“As expected from the Golden Boy.” Donghyuck says under his breath, his forehead pressed against the window. 

“What did you say?” Mark snaps his face to look at Donghyuck, who’s dozing off. “Hyuck? What about you?” 

“Uh,” he mumbles, his head feeling heavy from the lack of sleep he had this week. “Just doing the same.” 

“Really?” Mark tries to pretend he’s surprised, just for Donghyuck to keep talking. 

“I’ve been drinking too.” Donghyuck deadpans after a minute of silence. 

Mark doesn’t reply immediately, the phrase not quite registering in his head. “What?” 

“Drinking your heartbreak away is a technical I guarantee one hundred percent of success.” He says again, this time emotionless. 

Mark has the decency to look away and starts to drive again. 

They don’t talk the rest of the trip to Busan. Which is good, because Donghyuck’s tired. The whole conversation left him exhausted. He knows this whole thing is all new to Mark. Donghyuck’s not the one to wear his heart in his sleeve or to say how he feels. Mostly because he’s scared if he talks too much about his feelings, people would leave him. This time he’s not scared if Mark leaves him. 

He already did it once, it can’t hurt that much again? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONE! im back.... this is what happens when i haven't sleep and im sard (sad and hard) and a little bit stressed with uni. writing is my coping mechanism!1!!!  
> SO just for you to know this story is.... different? at least from the the stuff i write (which is mostly fluff) but i had an epiphany about markhyuck making out drunk so i wrote it but i couldn't think at that time of a plot and THEN this came?? so ugh my mind!  
> also, just so y'all have an idea about where's this fic going check day6 'I Wait', 'What Can I Say?', 'When you love someone' and 'I loved you' and bts 'Seesaw' because i got inspired about them too  
> this was also supposed to be a one-shot thing but im tired tonight and i really wanted to upload this so,,,  
> thank you in advance for leaving kudos and comments, because i love seeing them!  
> and while you wait, why don't you try reading my other works about markhyuck??? :D here's ["Mocca"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15936347), ["Disfruto"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879696) and ["We hit the jackpot, baby"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15320571)


	2. It's because I loved you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kiss me.” Demands Mark.  
> And what’s Donghyuck gonna do? Say no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, sit tight, this is going to be a wild ride.  
> Chapter title from 'I loved you' by day6.  
> Songs for this chapter: ikon 'goodbye road', bts 'let go' and day6 'letting go', 'i loved you'

The things is that, when Mark lies, he can’t look at people in the eyes and his hands start to sweat. He really, _never_ , in million years, thought he would be a good liar, not even lying to Donghyuck, but the fact that said boy is in his car, willing to meet his parents in Busan, tells him otherwise. 

In Mark’s defense, this was never his idea, to begin with. His parents _did_ called and wanted to come, but after Mark cried on the phone about how they broke up, his mom suggested an idea. 

“We have a reservation for next weekend in Busan. Why don’t you and Donghyuck go there and talk?” Mrs. Lee said sweetly. 

“That would work if we _talked_ , mom,” Mark replies, wiping his tears. “It’s not a fight. We broke up and said pretty shitty words.” 

There’s a silence on the other side of the line. “Do you love him?” 

_I don’t know if there’s room for love anymore_. “Does it matter?” 

“Okay, what if you tell him you haven’t told us about you guys?” She tries again. 

“What?” Mark doesn’t pretend to sound excited about this idea, but his mom knows better. 

“Call him and tell him we’ll come around but you haven’t told us about what happened.” The tone of his mom is light, the way you say things like how’s the weather. Not like he’s giving him the beginning of a shitty romcom. 

He doesn’t even know why he’s agreeing with this idea, he can’t even lie for his life. How’s he supposed to lie to his ex-boyfriend? Donghyuck can read him like an open book. He would _know_. 

Then why did he agree on this? 

Mark can’t even think of reason why Donghyuck goes along with this. Actually, Mark’s scared to get his hopes up. Perhaps there’s a room for love, after all? 

* 

_Past day_

Mark entered the apartment afraid to wake up Donghyuck. It was already past midnight and he didn’t wanted to fight about his work hours in the studio with Donghyuck _again_. He left his keys in the bowl next to the door and went to the kitchen, looking for something to eat. 

“What the-” he hisses. There’s a lot of food in the kitchen, even a cake. Mark takes a step closer, wondering if Donghyuck’s friend birthday was today and he didn’t knew. 

In the cake it’s written _“Our 3 rd anniversary and you’re late.”_

Donghyuck turns on the lights from the living room. He’s sitting at their sofa, not in his pajamas, but clothes, even using his coat, like he’s ready to take a walk. 

“Happy 3rd anniversary, babe.” His tone was dangerously sweet. It was almost like Donghyuck was the haunter and Mark the prey. Mark eyes widen in realization of the date. Donghyuck smile is empty and broken. “Oh? Now you remember, right?” His tone is light, while he closes the distance between them. 

Mark curses under his breath. “Donghyuck, I- I forgot, you know how busy it gets-” 

“Yeah, being the golden boy has always been too much for you, Mark.” Donghyuck cuts him off. In the past, that said nickname was something Donghyuck told him to show how proud he was of him, of the goals he achieved, of his hard work paying off, but now… Now the way he said it, it was close to an insult. 

“I can make up to you, Hyuck,” he ignores the way Donghyuck words cut through his heart. “What about tomorrow-” 

The cold and emotionless mask Donghyuck’s using almost breaks. “I don’t think I can wait for you another night, Mark.” 

Mark takes a step back, like Donghyuck stabbed him. Which he did, in fact, at least mentally. Was Mark lack of sleep and overwork the one making him think Donghyuck was breaking up with him? 

“Are you breaking up with me?” Mark inhales sharply, fighting the urge to shake Donghyuck shoulders, in hopes he comes to his senses. “In our anniversary?” 

Now, _now_ Donghyuck was fucking angry. The audacity, it’s like the dinner he had ready for Mark wasn’t in front of his nose. “You didn’t even remembered, Mark. And now you try to make me look the bad guy?” 

“God, are you even listening to yourself? It’s just a date, the world’s not gonna end because I forgot it.” He hisses, walking out the kitchen to his room, he was tired and the last thing he wanted to do was fighting about a stupid date that slipped his mind. 

“Is that what it means to you? A stupid date?” Oh shit, Mark said that out loud. “You’re an asshole, do you know that?” 

“Then why are you here?” Mark turned to look at Donghyuck, who was still at the doorframe of the kitchen. He was in the shadows, which didn’t Mark let him see his face. That made the next words slip his mouth easier, “Leave.” 

Donghyuck remained silent for a few seconds, before turning and heading to the door. One single tear rolling in his cheek was all it took Mark to snap to reality. 

“Are you leaving?” Mark voice came riddle with tremors, the idea of Donghyuck finally leaving sinking in his head. “You don’t- You come and cook for me, and then you have your stuff packed, and- and you leave?” 

Donghyuck ducked his head, sniffing. His next words however were cold like ice. “What do you want, Mark? You say you want me to leave and then you want me to stay? It’s been like this always? I just noticed, you know.” Now he’s looking at him, his hands gesturing the space between them. 

The space between them that was an abysm, filled with the many dates and calls he missed from Donghyuck. It was filled with the resentment and jealousy. 

“The way I’m tied to you,” he continued, “just because I can’t bear with the idea of being without you. But, I know better now, Mark, I want the best for you and the best for me, too. It hurts realizing we’re not your priority, but I have come to terms with it.” 

“What are you saying?” Mark asked loudly and hurt. 

“You don’t know how many times I held on everything I wanted to say…” Donghyuck glanced up at him warily. “God, Mark I love you as much as I hate you. It shouldn’t be like that. I don’t know how to say this.” He paused, his eyes squeezing shut. “Stop looking at me in that way.” He blinks his eyes open. “Like you love me.” 

And Mark… if he only knew how much he would regret his next words, he wouldn’t have said them in the first place. 

“I don’t love you.” 

But in that moment, he felt angry and hurt, and felt a sadistic pleasure go through him at the hurt confusion that appeared in Donghyuck’s face. That look should have been enough to make him stop, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt small in front of him and he wanted to be the one in control, because Donghyuck looked at him so collected. He wanted him to scream, to lose his temper and show Mark his true colors. 

“When we’re not together, it feels so much better, you know?” Mark wants his tongue to keep quiet, but it’s like his mind had gone offline, words coming poisonous and harmful, like he was digging Donghyuck’s heart with a knife. “I want to love you, but I can’t.” 

Donghyuck’s face turned white, “See? This is why it’s better if we end this, now.” His voice trembles. “We want different things. I want a boyfriend to check up on me, to talk to me. But you’re a ghost in this relationship. I’m always the one giving. I’m tired.” 

Mark laughs in disbelief. “So should I leave my work for the sake of our relationship?” 

Donghyuck arches an eyebrow. “Do you want to?” 

The answer comes fast and painless. “No, I love my job.” 

Donghyuck nods. “Yeah, but you know wanting it and doing it are different things.” He opened the door and spoke, one feet outside. “I made my decision. We’re done, Minhyung.” 

“Hyuck,” Mark whispers, almost pleading. “Wait a minute. I don’t-” 

Donghyuck doesn’t look back as he leaves, slamming the door shut behind him. 

Mark didn’t even realized the damage he did, until he turned around the apartment and realized like a slap in his face, that nothing of Donghyuck’s could be seen. The house was empty, just like Mark’s heart. 

* 

_Present day_

Donghyuck’s shaken awake later by Mark. Donghyuck’s blinks, disoriented for a moment with the smell of salt and sea. He takes a look outside the window and is astonished by the scenery. The sun is hiding between the clouds, making a few rays sneak to his face, making him feel warmer. He can hear the kids screaming and birds chirping. It’s an amazing summer afternoon and he can’t wait to take a swim. 

“Do you wanna eat something?” Mark asks him gently and Donghyuck jumps in his seat, almost forgetting he was there. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck nods. 

Mark gives him a small grin, before fixing his eyes in the road. “Remember that BBQ restaurant you liked?” 

Donghyuck steals a glance at Mark, before resting his forehead in the window, not daring to look at him more than the necessary. 

“Are we going there?” He tries to sound impassive, but he’s hungry and maybe he can’t let pass the detail that Mark remembered something from when they were together. 

“Yes, is it okay with you?” Mark says, softly. 

“What’s it?” Donghyuck didn’t plan to let those words stumble his mouth. But he’s getting mixed vibes from Mark and he can’t help to wonder what’s gotten him to act this way. 

Mark frowns at him. “What do you mean?” 

_Why are you acting all mild towards me? Do you feel guilty? It’s because I told you about the drinking thing?_ Donghyuck wants to ask, but he’s exhausted and he won’t complain for the attention he’s been craving since they broke up. In the end, he shakes his head, making a vague gesture with his hand so Mark would drop the topic. 

Mark takes the hint and keeps driving, not daring to talk anymore. For the first moment in their trip, besides the moment Donghyuck dozed off, the atmosphere doesn’t feel edgy at all. The silence is even making it more comfortable. 

When Mark parks the car outside the restaurant, he’s ready to tell Donghyuck the truth, but before he can do it, Donghyuck opens the cars and urges him to enter. 

He guesses he’ll have to do it later. 

The lunch goes without too much trouble and they don’t talk too much either. Just a few comments about the food and what they’re going to do after. It feels _good_ , like the old times and Mark feels guilty about it. He also has a feeling Donghyuck recognizes the distress in his face. Mark’s glad he doesn’t pressures the topic, but he’s also curious what Donghyuck wanted to say in the car. 

He hates it now. The way Donghyuck bottles himself, not daring to speak up his feelings, because in the end that’s what it lead him to that night. Mark’s not a dick, he know it’s also his fault, for not asking and checking up on him, but if only Donghyuck said something, _if only_ he complained about how he felt in their relationship, maybe things wouldn’t have end like this. 

* 

When they get to the hotel, Mark has to ask Donghyuck to pick up his phone from the car so he can register them both in the hotel. Normally, they would share a room with their parents, but since this was a holiday planned just for a couple, he can’t let Donghyuck know, _yet_. 

“Hey, room for two. Lee Hyewon did the reservation.” He tells the receptionist, a cute guy named K. Daniel. 

“Oh, yeah, your mom called,” he says, searching for the keys. He hands them to Mark. “We have a dinner prepared on the beach at 8pm.” 

“What?” Mark exclaims, taken back, why’s his mom so into this whole thing? 

“Yeah, it includes wine, so please tell me your preference.” Daniel doesn’t stop smiling, which starts creeping out Mark. 

“Hey, Mark, your mom’s calling.” Donghyuck screams from the lobby. 

He snaps the keys from Daniel’s hands. “About the wine, I’ll tell you later, it’s a surprise.” He whisper to Daniel, gesturing at Donghyuck, who’s coming closer. Daniel winks at him. 

Mark takes his phone back and puts in his ear. “Hey, mom-” 

“Sweetheart! How are things going? Are you with Donghyuck? Pass him to the phone I want to say hi.” 

He does as his told and hands the phone to Donghyuck. In response, Donghyuck shakes his head nervously. Mark rolls his eyes and pulls the phone closer. Donghyuck squezzes his eyes shut, cursing under his breath. He smacks the damn phone away and turns his back, walking in the lobby. 

Mark takes the opportunity to come closer to Daniel. “Hey, man, I think we’ll go with red wine.” 

“Sure, sir. If you need anything, please call reception.” Daniel is all smiles and Busan accent, which makes him really cute, his bubbly personality somehow calming Mark. 

After a good fifty minutes of talking, Donghyuck’s back from walking around the lobby and doesn’t look happy. 

“Your mom said the flight was cancelled. It seems is raining?” He says, his face now worried, makes him look like a lost puppy. “They tried booking new tickets, but it’s too expensive.” 

Donghyuck looks ridiculously adorable being all awkward with him. Mark tries his best to not grin. “Oh.” He says, not sure of what to say, afraid if he says something now, Donghyuck would catch up. 

“Yeah, anyways, we should at least take a look around. I missed Busan.” Donghyuck shrugs, taking the keys from Mark’s hands. “Our luggage is in the room, let’s go.” 

So Mark follows him. Not sure how to tell him that this was all planned and they’ll probably have to sleep… in the same bed. Unless, Donghyuck decides to leave. Which is likely to happen. 

“Why is just one bed?” is the first thing Donghyuck says when he opens the door of the room. 

Mark tries to smile, but Donghyuck’s not having any of it. With a sigh, he takes Donghyuck’s bag and lands it in the bed of the room. He takes his wallet and phone, indicating Donghyuck to do the same. When they're done, Mark guides him outside the room by the wrist. 

“Mark?” Getting closer to the elevator, Donghyuck stops in his tracks, forcing Mark to face him. 

“Let’s take a walk.” Donghyuck looks ready to protest but Mark cuts him first. “ _Please_.” 

He waits a heartbeat, afraid he’ll push his hand away and scream at him. But he just nods, whispering a little ‘okay’. 

Mark’s scared but excited at the same, imagining all the scenarios this conversation could led to. Mark bet is another heartbreak, even if Donghyuck still has feelings for him, all the words they said (and didn’t said) are like a big wall they build up to protect themselves. At least, this can give them both a closure. 

When they get to the beach, Donghyuck has his arms across his chest, looking at Mark expectantly. 

“What about an ice cream?” He speaks quietly, feeling like a walk in thin ice. 

Donghyuck stares at him way too much, giving him an undecipherable look. He stares at the sea, before sighing. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

Okay, now Mark’s _sure_ Donghyuck knows. But he won’t complain, glad he’s playing along with him. Even if that’s selfish, he wants to have Donghyuck for _him_. He misses Donghyuck in the way you miss the warm of a blanket in the cold winter. And it hurts, it _hurts_ , seeing him so close but yet far away. Like the gap between the both of them can get closed enough. 

“One cone of chocolate and one popsicle of watermelon.” Donghyuck asks the cashier. 

“You remembered.” Mark sounds pathetic, but he doesn’t’ have time to regret it, when he sees Donghyuck cheeks tint pink. 

“You can’t erase five years in four months, you know.” Donghyuck bites his lips, his voice in the edge of being flirty. 

And Mark stands in his place, disarmed like the first time he meet Donghyuck. Captivated again by his beauty tanned skin glowing in the sun of the afternoon, by the way his hair, now red, shined like a diabolic halo, on contrast with his angelic features. Looking at Donghyuck was like stargazing, he couldn’t get tired of searching new stars in his eyes. And Mark… he feel in love with him the way leafs and raindrops fall. There was not going back. 

“Here,” Donghyuck hands him his popsicle. “Let’s walk.” 

So they do that, at the sea’s shore, they walk one hand holding the ice cream and the other one carrying the pair of shoes. Donghyuck and Mark talk until the sun hides behind the horizon. They’re amazing to hedge topics that are too personal. Donghyuck’s tells Mark about the new girl group he’s into, that debuted last month. He has been learning new choreographies, not just for his classes. He’s starting to like contemporary dance this semester, his classes are so much fun with a teacher called Jimin. He moved with Chenle and sold his car, because now his dorm was closer to the campus and having his car was too expansive. Mark tells him about the new album he worked on, how it was all new beats for him. He wanted to tell him about his new friend Johnny and how they two would get along, but somehow he was nervous Donghyuck would get the wrong idea. 

And they keep talking and it feels like the old times, and Mark, god, he’s dying to reach his hands and interlock them with Donghyuck. But he lost that privilege a long time ago. But still. This is the happier he has ever been in months. 

“It’s cold,” Donghyuck complains, voice coming out as a whine. “I think we should head up.” 

Mark shivers too and nods, leading the way to their hotel. A few steps away from the hotel, Donghyuck breaks the silence. 

“Your mom told me you have a surprise.” Donghyuck steals a glimpse to Mark flushed face, his hands in his pockets, shivering from the cold air. 

Mark rubs his neck nervously. “Yeah, about that…” He trails off, when he reaches the lobby. Daniel is there in a minute, looking at them with affect. 

“Your table is ready, Mr. Lee.” He gestures to the back of the hotel and starts walking. Donghyuck and Mark follow him, turning in the corner before entering the restaurant. Daniel goes upstairs leading them to a beautiful balcony. There, a single table is settled with a pair of wineglasses and a bouquet of red and white roses. Very romantic, if you ask Mark. 

“I didn’t bring my suit,” Donghyuck giggles softly, taking a seat. “Your mom really wants us to talk, uh?” 

Mark rubs the back of his neck again. “I swear to god, I didn’t knew about this-” 

“Your red wine, Mr. Lee.” Daniel interrupts, opening the wine and serving it in the two wineglasses. 

Mark feels his ears burn. “Okay, maybe the wine was my decision.” 

Donghyuck lets out a laugh at that, and Mark… he stays in his place, unable to stop staring the way the corner of Donghyuck’s lips curl up, at how his eyes crinkle, at the tanned with moles expanse of his neck, as he throws his head back. It’s the first time in months, he has seen Donghyuck laughing so easily around him, and Mark feels his lungs filled with sand, remembering those times they would laugh in the corner of the library, playing footsie under the table and Donghyuck would laugh, in that precious way he always does, beamed, high-pitched, his hand covering his mouth, trying to be quiet. Mark feels the corner of his eyes filling with tears, so he takes a look to the sea, blinking the tears away. 

“Donghyuck, I-” Mark voices comes breathless and he needs a second, before facing him. 

“Minhyung,” A soft hand in his shoulder makes Mark turn around. “I know. But can we have our dinner before talking? I bet your mom would like that.” 

Mark nods and follows him silently to the table. Daniel comes a bit later with their food and they eat again in silence. The sound of the waves crashing in the sand with the smell of salt were the only things filling the room. 

“You know, for a moment I thought you were telling the truth,” Donghyuck says when Daniel leaves the room, taking with him the dishes. 

“Then why did you agree?” Mark can’t keep himself anymore to ask what he has been wondering all week. 

Donghyuck stares at him with irritation and it makes Mark wonder what he did wrong this time. “Are you really this dense?” His voice was sharp, but there was a hint of a smile tugging in his lips. Mark must have it written in his face because he lets out a sigh. 

He straightens in his seat and takes a sip of his wine. “Mark.” He starts, looking at him in the eyes. “You don’t talk to me for four months and when you do, it’s to ask me a favor. Pretending to be your boyfriend in front of your parents, on top of that. And you think I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart? C’mon Mark, you gotta be kidding me.” 

Mark blinks confused, his hands moving nervously in his thighs. Donghyuck’s far from done, though. 

“That day when I left, I thought about _us_ when you wouldn’t even blink an eye for our relationship. It’s not just because you forgot about our anniversary, Mark. It’s because you never stopped and considered in the table the direction of our relationship. I was the one giving and giving.” Donghyuck looks at him hurt, like they’re back at that terrible night and he’s about to leave the place any second. 

And Mark wants to close the distance and hug him, but he knows he shouldn’t talk. Not yet. 

“You ditched me so many times and there wasn’t a time I complained. I knew how important was for you work.” Donghyuck stops, taking a shakily breath, tears streaming in his cheeks. “I felt like a burden, all the time. I thought I was selfish for trying to keep you with me, but at the same I blamed myself for being so clingy. God,” Donghyuck looks up, throwing his neck back. “I was jealous of music, Mark. Wasn’t I enough for you?” 

Mark opens his mouth but Donghyuck’s gaze keeps him shut. 

“I hated that no matter how hard I tried, you’d still choose music over me. And then, I blamed you, Mark. I blamed you because I stopped enjoying music, the first thing that bring us together, was the one settings us apart. I blamed you because you were so perfect, so brilliant. You were a star, Mark, and I was just looking at your back in the shadows. I couldn’t reach you, no matter what I did.” 

There’s a silence before Mark dares to speak. 

“I’m so sorry, god, I hate myself for making yourself feel like that.” Mark blurts, his own eyes filling with unshed tears. “You’re so wonderful, Donghyuck. I didn’t deserve you, Donghyuck. I never did.” He feels his own body shaking. “But, I only worked hard because I was scared if I failed you would leave.” 

Donghyuck gasps confused. “What-?” 

“I know you felt like I putted work first and I can’t never excuse myself for that, but you have to know, I kept working hard because I was insecure. You’re a literal sun, Donghyuck, you’re so friendly and easy to talk, and I was scared you’d leave as soon you realized…” He gestures at Donghyuck and then he points at himself, his voice getting quieter, “you were with a loser like me.” 

Mark reaches for his drink and takes one, two, three sips, before finishing the wine. He places it again in the table. 

“I’m so insecure and I guess, I just- I didn’t wanted to show you my insecurities. I think there were some hints, the way I was so protective towards you and the way I got jealous every time to drifted your attention from me.” 

Donghyuck nods comprehensively. “No wonder you were so moody when I went to party with Jaemin.” 

Mark offers him a smile and Donghyuck replies with one just back. 

“We’re such a mess,” Donghyuck sighs, wiping his face. “I guess that’s what people mean when they say communication is the key in a relationship.” 

Mark doesn’t reply immediately. Wondering what should he say next. The truth is that, saying Donghyuck he was feeling insecure in their relationship, was like they lifted a big weight from his shoulders. It was making him go crazy, keeping a cool and distanced facade from Donghyuck, it mostly made him feel bad because he was lying. 

“You know I lied, right?” Mark feels his heart thumbing fast in his chest, looking at the way Donghyuck’s eyes squeezes shut. His brow frowning, his face twisting in pain and hurt. 

“I thought at first you were lying, you know,” Donghyuck serves more wine, in the empty glasses. He takes a drink and keeps his eyes glued to the ocean. “I refused to believe you lied to me all the three years we were together. I wondered day and night even if _I_ loved you. What was real and what was a lie?” 

He takes his drink again and finishes it. He blinks one tear away and his next word are so quiet, Mark has to come closer to listen to him clearly. 

“But later on, I just ended believing it,” Donghyuck voices sounds so hurt, it shatters in pieces Mark. “I’m like that either way. I give people more than they can offer me.” 

“I lied, Donghyuck. I loved you.” 

Donghyuck laughs, but this time it sounds empty, lacking of any feelings. 

“I’m in love with you,” Mark tries again, this time reaching his hand to hold Donghyuck’s. “It never stopped.” He waits for a reply, whatever it is, but Donghyuck shakes his head instead. 

“We should go to sleep.” He says, getting up from the chair. 

Mark doesn’t give up. He stands up too, realizing how drunk he is. He shakes his head and takes Donghyuck from the waist. “Tell me something, anything. Scream at me, tell me to fuck off. But just _talk_ to me, please.” 

Donghyuck stares at him, his breath tickling in Mark’s face, now realizing how close their faces were. Mark can’t help but to stare at his lips, wanting to put a kiss in there. 

“It never stopped for me either.” He breaths shakily and Mark can’t wait any longer. He throws himself and peeks a kiss in Donghyuck’s lip. 

Donghyuck blinks at him and interlocks his fingers together. “Let’s go to the room.” 

With that they rush together, stumbling in their feet to the hotel room, giggling like two teenagers in love. 

In the darkness of the room, Mark pumps their foreheads together, breathing coming shaky. 

“Kiss me.” Demands Mark. 

And what’s Donghyuck gonna do? Say no? 

Donghyuck takes a step closer, taking Mark’s chin with one lazy finger, moving it sideways, taking his time to contemplate the other light blush in his cheek bones. He finally reaches the other, standing a bit in his tiptoes, closing the space between them in a smooth kiss. Donghyuck’s fingers reach Mark’s neck and keep him pinned against the wall. Mark opens his lips and Donghyuck takes the invitation to slip his tongue inside Mark’s warm mouth, a vague taste of wine and mint is there and it drives Donghyuck crazy. 

Even if they kissed thousands of times in the past, it still feels like the first time they do it. 

Mark’s hands find their way to Donghyuck’s waist, his fingers sneaking under his shirt, making soothing circles in his abdomen. 

“Never thought you would do it.” Mumbles Mark, starting to take off the bottoms of Donghyuck’s shirt. 

Feeling Mark’s cold hands against his warm body sends a shiver down Donghyuck’s spine; his heart thumping violently against his sternum. He licks his lips and peeks a kiss in Mark’s cheek. 

“That’s the thing, Mark” he breaths in Mark’s neck, his cologne now gone, just the smell of their sweat and sea around them. “I’m not thinking.” 

“Good.” He takes Donghyuck’s lip bottom playfully between his teeth, gaining a gasp from the younger. 

“Perfect.” Replies smudgy Donghyuck. 

“Great.” Breaths out Mark, his hands finally unbuttoning Donghyuck’s shirt. Donghyuck’s feels all of sudden self-conscious of his body, it’s been a while since they both had such intimacy. He pushes Mark’s onto the bed, leaning to kiss him again, this time slow and sweet, taking his time to pour his feelings in it. Mark’s hands cup his face, thumbs stroking slowly across his cheeks, touch as light as a feather. 

“I love you.” 

Donghyuck’s feels his chest clench, guiltiness sitting heavy in his stomach. 

“You’re drunk.” He points out, trying to not sound so much bitter about it. 

Mark’s nods, his hands now travelling from Donghyuck’s wrist to his shoulders, one finger pointing his collarbone. 

“You’re too.” He reaches for a kiss. Just a peck, but it feels again _so_ intimate. It’s almost like they’re _lovers_ , again. “I missed you so much.” 

Donghyuck can feel his heart in his throat, making it impossible to speak a coherent sentence, so he opts for a kiss. 

He kisses his jaw, down his neck, biting and sucking the skin exposed, leaving colors that make Donghyuck feel that Mark is _his_ once again. After a while, he feels Mark body relaxing under his touch, a soft snoring escaping from his mouth. 

“You fell asleep,” Donghyuck’s shouldn’t feel so dissapointed, but he is. He stands up from the bed, planning on taking a few blankets and sleep in the floor. 

“Don’t go.” Whispers under his sleep Mark. “Donghyuck.” 

“So now you talk in your sleep,” Laughs softly Donghyuck, finding Mark really cute, his seagull eyebrows frowning, his lips forming a pout. “Okay, you clingy baby.” 

_One last time._

He lays down next to Mark, the other one reacting immediately and snuggling against Donghyuck chest, their legs tangled. Donghyuck takes the other one’s hands and places a soft kiss in his fingers, before closing his eyes, now realizing how tired he was. 

The last thought he has before drifting away is that he wishes they could stay like this forever. 

* 

Mark wakes up in an empty bed. It shouldn’t scare him that much but he stands up so quickly he almost trips over his bag. 

“Donghyuck?” 

Silence. 

He goes to the bathroom and nothing. Emptiness, like that last time. There were no signs of Donghyuck’s luggage, Mark almost wondered if this could be a dream. And if it was, he wanted to wake up, _now_. 

Panic starts to rise in Mark’s systems as he puts in a clean shirt and goes to the reception. 

Daniel’s not there, but another guy named J. Jungkook. 

“Hey,” Mark voices come rough, so he clears his throat. “My boy-” He stops in his words. Everything was just going fine, what happened? “Anyways, did a guy, red hair, tanned skin, come here or said something?” 

Jungkook doesn’t look as bubbly as Daniel, but still gives him a reassured smile, a bunny one if he wants to add. “Yeah, he left you this.” He hands Mark a piece of paper folded. 

Mark stares at it like a bomb, afraid it would burn as soon he touched it. 

“Ah, Mrs. Lee called too. It seems your phone doesn’t work?” Jungkook keeps talking, ignoring the mental breakdown Mark’s having. In the end, afraid of his voice cracking, he nods at Jungkook and takes the paper with him. 

In his room, he charges his phone and calls Donghyuck. 

_"The person you’re trying to reach is not accepting calls at this time."_

He gasps, his vision blurry for the tears that are willing to stream. His hands are shaking when he tries texting him. However, the text never delivers, which means, Donghyuck did blocked him. He’s even more afraid to open that letter, but he has to do it, now or later. He takes a breath in before opening it. 

_"Hey Minhyung._

_I’m not sure where to start. I’m sure you wonder why I left, right? Well, it’s because I’m a coward. I’m scared of my feelings and myself around you. You know how much I hate confrontations. I don’t know how to deal with them. So when I knew your mom and you trapped me in this trip, I was scared we would hurt ourselves more._

_I treasured our time here, Mark, did you too? The beach was so pretty. That night in the balcony, the sky was so beautiful. Your eyes haven’t lost the sparkle. I hope they never do._

_I’m sorry I bottled myself so much with you, Mark. I wonder if we had talked before that night, would things be different from now? That’s the reason why I agreed on coming too. I knew I’d only wonder what if… What if I didn’t came? Would we be still hurting? Would we became the strangers we were before meeting?_

_I’m sorry Mark, for leaving, twice. But I wanted to. That night, I wanted to go and today too. However there’s a difference now. That’s the reason I’m writing you._

_That night, if only you said the magic words… I’d still hold to you, do you know? If you only told me you were sorry, that you were lying, I would have come to you. But today… Today Mark, I want to leave and I want to let you go._

_I’m letting us go, Mark. So we can both be happy. I’m sorry it took us this long. I’m sorry I said those words that night, Mark. I’m sorry I was jealous of your success. I’m sorry I decided what was the best for us that night. We promised to take decisions like a couple, but I decided for me and you, which come to think, was too selfish from me. I’m sorry, I kept on saying I was always thinking of us, when in reality, I was thinking of myself._

_It’s because I loved you so much, Minhyung. After we parted ways, it hurt so much, every little thing reminded me of you. That’s why I started drinking, to forget you. To forget about us, about us when we were together and we thought we could be anything we wanted. I wanted to forget about our promises and the words we said about eternal love._

_I loved you so much. God, I love you so much. You were like home. If I knew how much we would hurt ourselves, I wouldn’t have loved you so much._

_Cheer up! Everyone goes through a heartbreak, we went there twice by ourselves. Let’s not be too sad, we had pretty memories together, right?_

_Be careful in your way home, I’d be careful too._

_Goodbye,_

_LDH."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so emotionally drained from writing this, what the-  
> anyways, i hope you all liked this and i'm sorry if i left you all in a cliffhanger. but i gotta.  
> i'd appreciate very much a lot your feedback, so please scream at me (in the most nice way pls im sensitive) in the comments.  
> till the next time <3, AR.


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